I was scanning my inbox and came to think of scanning our first conversation. I was only 18 and way too bubbly and oh so happy. Guess what? I was smiling so big when it dawned to me how innocent I was then.
I thank you for making it throug my life and I am not regretting why I let you in. Maybe there are some major parts of it but they are the pieces that made this puzzle complete.
How everything happened in a blur was a blessing instead of a curse. Indeed, it’s just a matterof perspective that still the unfortunate events that took place became a positive outcome not only me but to my family as well.
I grew and that’s the best part of it.
How about you? I guess I am just ANY other girl you met along the way and I won’t be expecting that you will somehow be scarred of my existence. Cool isn’t it?
Who knows you will one day read this and will knot your brows not with the idea but with the grammar? Sorry, I love English and I will not stop myself from doing it even if you’ll tell me how you hate me talking in English language.
What will happen to me for the next few weeks is still not in my mind. Let it be. Though I fear much on the effect because little by little, my mind is becoming more active on what I will do and what I should have done or what I am doing. I am not always an angel and I don’t think I am anymore. Yes, I can still be but with you in my list of ‘watch out’ people, I don’t know how to control what I used to control.
I’m sorry if I let you drag me into this situation. Why I don’t hate you that much? Because I saw goodness in you before everything turned out the way the world don’t want to. It’s just that sometimes I feel so stupid for losing the war that I am not even part of.
The future? I was thinking of giving myself the second chance to repair it. At least by that time I am more mature to handle things. But with you? It was never an option yet. Maybe now and who knows i’ll open my mind to such realit right? After all it’s us who will make our destinies.
September 15, 2013 at 1:58pm
When it’s time to see the real whisperings
Of fake laughter, of mysterious comments
If only I could repay such kindness
But I can’t for I won’t.
Then the time is ripe to let go
Of what was lost and what was none
Forcing one to respond such drama
Who am I kidding?
We are not too young to play
Nor too old to grow so fast
This is just the way it is.
Could be the first hello
To end the last goodbye.
You may be my FIRST but you will never be my LAST.